I may have a problem, you see Black Friday and Cyber Monday culminated in the fact that my living-room is now filled with numerous empty boxes for the cats to enjoy. I have WAY too much stuff. I mean I kind of knew it was creeping in that direction, but it is official....I need to start downsizing. I'd love to say that yes I ordered around $2000 dollars worth of merchandise for my various friends and family for Christmas, but no...it's ALL for me!
It really is kind of sad when UPS knocks on your door at 7:30pm and you answer in your pajamas and stare at the boxes and you have absolutely no idea what is inside. I literally told the deliveryman "I have no idea what those are" and he was like "Um, are you <insert name>?" and I was like "Oh yeah that's me, but I can't remember what all I ordered".
I had an incredibly long week this week so last night I drank a beer. I haven't had a beer in a long time and I was exhausted and desperate to unwind and actually get some much needed sleep and decided it was either the beer or I was going to start doing drugs.....at least beer is legal. So I was drinking and again UPS shows up (third night in a row, woot!) and hands me a giant ass box. I sign and am super excited because I actually do know what is inside, but I'm too tired to play with my new toys so I just sigh, open it up, and let the cats jump in it after all my stuff was removed.
I looked at those little balls of energy with something akin to hatred. How dare they be so energetic and kitten like while I could barely remember how to spell my name? I laid down for bed and heard Cricket all night jumping around in the boxes and shredding plastic and paper with her sharp little razor teeth. I finally sprayed her with the water bottle around 3am. Sure, I felt bad for punishing her for having fun, but I didn't find it amusing at the time.
To make it up to her I totally kissed her and loved her and told her she was pretty this morning. She purred at me and I think we're cool again. At least until I come home from work and find that she has pushed my laptop in the floor and clawed up my favorite pair of pants. I also kept all her magically wonderful boxes in the floor....she thinks it is because I'm an amazing cat mom, but reality is that I'm way too lazy to clean up.
Hmmm.....maybe I should have spent that money on a maid service instead!
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